Caring for Aging Parents Checklist

Originally published May 6, 2021; updated November 17, 2025

In 2025, about 63 million U.S. adults—1 in 4—are caregivers.This caring for aging parents checklist highlights what to gather, who to call, and the first steps that lower stress.

If you have aging parents, you may need to take care of them—or help arrange their future care. Helping prepare your parents to age well and providing caregiving support can have benefits. It can keep them healthier and more active. It can also provide sustainable, long-term health and care benefits.

AARP valued unpaid care at $600 billion in 2021; some new analyses estimate that the broader economic value exceeds $1 trillion annually. Not surprisingly, women do two-thirds of the work. In sum, more than 59 million Americans provide care for an adult with a complex medical condition or disability. Another 4 million care for a child, and about one-quarter of caregivers support both children and adults (the “sandwich generation”).

Source: Caregiving in the US

Alzheimer’s care is a major driver of need: in 2024, nearly 12 million Americans provided unpaid dementia care. These caregivers provided approximately 19.2 billion hours of care valued at more than $413 billion. Providing such care can be deeply meaningful and also demanding, especially for the sandwich generation. We may love our parents, but we are not experienced caregivers. Assuming this vital role involves a steep learning curve. It’s unlikely that you will immediately know how to meet the many needs of your aging parents.

A Look at Long-Term Care Expenses

When working with clients on their financial plans, we discuss the cost of long-term care. You can purchase insurance, but that comes with a cost many don’t want to incur. Typically, the best time to purchase such insurance is in your 50s, when your health is better. Family history also affects premium costs.

If you don’t purchase long-term care insurance, then you must self-insure. When evaluating that decision, we use data like what you see in the following table.

Annual Median Long-term Care Costs: USA—National (2024): What Caring for Aging Parents May Cost

Source: CareScout

Actual costs vary by state; check local medians when planning.

This checklist can help you protect your parents and maximize your caregiving efforts.

Conversations & Roles (First Family Huddle)

They often say that attitude makes a difference. Help your parents understand the impact their lifestyle choices can have. Factors such as lifestyle choices, activity levels, and positive thinking regarding better overall outcomes matter. They can help your parents make better use of senior services and available resources.

Make sure you establish who has responsibility in each of the following roles:

• Primary contact
• Backup contact
• Medication lead
• Money administration

Personal Information

You must have your parents’ personal information. This includes the following:

• Full name
• Date of Birth
• Social Security Number
• Phone Number and Address, including legal state of residence
• Marital Status
• Health Status
• Names and Phone Numbers for your parents’ doctor, attorney, geriatric care manager, and other important persons
• Phone Numbers for family members and your parents’ closest friends
• Insurance/Medicare ID numbers and copies of cards

Legal and Medical Access (HIPAA, POAs, Contacts)

You want to have copies of essential documents and medical information even before they are needed.

• If your parents have a will, is it up to date?
• Advance directive and Health Care Power of Attorney (medical decision-maker)
• Durable power of attorney (financial)
• Have your parents designated beneficiaries on their financial accounts (can help avoid probate)?
• HIPAA releases
• List of clinicians and portals and how to access or contact them.

Medications and Appointments (Daily Health Setup)

• Maintain an up-to-date medication list (drug/dose/timing); store a copy on your phone.
• Keep a schedule of upcoming appointments.
• Attend medical appointments with your parents, especially for diagnostic testing.
• Help your parents manage any prescription refills. Take advantage of any autofill options. An automatic pill dispenser can also help them manage their daily medication regimen.

Daily Life & Wellness

Nutrition is the key to healthy aging. If your parents are not eating well, you can consider services such as Meals-on-Wheels or having their grocery shopping and meal prep done for them. Having healthy, easy-to-prepare meals and snacks on hand can meaningfully improve their health and energy level.

You also want to encourage your parents to exercise regularly. This can include walking, swimming, taking senior-specific exercise classes, golfing or other activities that can help them maintain their strength, stamina, and balance.

If your parents’ mobility has declined, make sure they have the necessary modifications to remain active, including:

• Mobility aids.
• Exercise bands/home exercise equipment.
• Ideas for exercising from a wheelchair or chair (for example).

Money Administration (Bills, Accounts, Protection)

Use this caring for aging parents checklist to organize bills, benefits, and safety in one place. You also want to understand your parents’ financial situation and data:

• Income sources (Social Security, pension, dividends, annuities, Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs), current employment (if applicable)).
• Monthly and yearly expenses.
• Assets (what they own).
• Liabilities (what they owe).
• Financial Advisor (if applicable).
• Bank, investment, credit card, and other financial accounts – this includes knowing (or knowing where to find) any login information.
• Become an authorized user on your parents’ accounts if they can no longer manage their own money. This allows you to pay bills on their behalf.
• You can also consider a power of attorney for finances.
• Add trusted contacts/alerts on bank and investment accounts.
• Consider using a password manager.

For those born between 1951 and 1959, RMDs begin at age 73. Those born in 1960 or later start RMDs at 75. If you would like some planning ideas related to RMDs, IRAs, and Roth IRAs, please review this blog: How Roth Conversions Can Help You, Your Surviving Spouse, and Your Heirs.

Housing & Safety (Home + Fraud Guard)

If your parents still live in their own home, you want to consider the following:

• Preparing a repair and maintenance checklist.
• If they have difficulty going up and down steps, is first-floor living possible? Are doors wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair, if necessary?
• If they need to move, make sure you understand their preferences and help them find suitable accommodations.
• Do your parents require home or skilled nursing care?
• Should your parents consider adult day care?

The incidence of fraud has surged. Consider taking the following pre-emptive actions:

• Freeze credit.
• Practice a “no-rush/no-secrecy” rule for calls demanding money. Tech support and bank investigator scams are on the rise.
• Apple Legacy Contact (iPhone) or Google Inactive Account Manager (Google account).
• Establish a cloud folder to store copies of advance directives, Powers of Attorney (health/financial), ID, insurance cards, medication lists, and clinician portal logins.
• Turn on transaction alerts for charges above $250.

Transportation

At some point, most seniors must modify their driving activities. For example, their driving can be restricted to daylight and good weather. You can schedule a behind-the-wheel evaluation with a driving-rehab specialist. They may even have to turn in their keys. This plays an important role in their aging process because of its effect on social engagement and community activities. These are essential to their emotional and mental well-being. AARP created this free online seminar titled: We Need to Talk. It will help you determine how to assess your loved ones’ driving skills and provide tools to help you have this critical conversation.

Benefits & Insurance

Understanding your parents’ health and medical needs is an important part of any caregiving plan. Work with your parents on the following items:

• Complete paperwork at each medical provider’s office that allows you to view and discuss your parents’ medical records.
• Understand your parents’ insurance coverage:
  • Health insurance
  • Long-term care insurance, if applicable
  • Life insurance, if applicable
  • Auto insurance
  • Homeowner’s insurance
  • Umbrella insurance

Starting in 2025, the annual out-of-pocket cap for drugs covered under Medicare Part D is $2,000. All plans must also offer the Prescription Payment Plan to spread costs throughout the year.

Estate Planning and Legal Issues

• If your parents’ assets are subject to estate tax, have you spoken with an attorney about how to minimize these costs?
• Have you discussed funeral arrangements and other end-of-life decisions?
• Have your parents prepared proper letters of instruction?
• Some states offer paid family leave or caregiver credits—check your state’s rules.

You can also check this blog, which discusses ways to declutter your estate plan.

Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself

Taking care of an aging parent can be both time-consuming and emotionally challenging, especially if your loved one’s health is declining. You should establish boundaries as to what you can and cannot do. Sometimes you have to say no or reinforce your boundaries. You don’t want to overextend yourself. If you cannot be the primary caregiver or cannot perform specific tasks, ask for help.

You also should make sure to set aside some time for yourself. Being constantly on the go can run you down and deplete your energy. You don’t want to overextend yourself, feel overworked, or under-appreciated. Before that happens, set aside some time for yourself. Go for a walk. Schedule a weekend away. Do what you need to do to recharge your batteries.

If you want self-care that actually helps, identify one backup caregiver, book one respite block per month, and set a “hard stop” time twice a week. If you have siblings, ask them to take on a responsibility, such as handling bills, rides, or meal arrangements.

💡 Care Options You Might Not Know

Beyond moving or hiring help, these programs expand your caring for aging parents checklist.

When “hire help or move” feels like the only choice, these programs can widen your options. Eligibility and names vary by state—start local and confirm specifics.

• PACE (All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly): A one-stop, team-based medical and social support to keep frail adults living at home (often for Medicare/Medicaid dual-eligibles).
  How to find: Find a local PACE program
• Medicaid HCBS Waivers: Home- and community-based services that can fund in-home aides, adult day health, respite, and more (state-specific; may have waitlists).
  How to find: HCBS overview + links to state programs
• VA Aid & Attendance / Housebound: Monthly pension add-ons for eligible veterans or surviving spouses who need help with daily activities or are primarily homebound.
  How to find: VA Aid & Attendance info and application
• SHIP (free Medicare counseling): Unbiased Medicare help comparing Advantage vs. Medigap, drug costs, penalties, and appeals.
  How to find: Locate your SHIP counselor
• Area Agency on Aging (AAA/ADRC): Local gateway for transportation, meal delivery, caregiver support, and home-safety assessments; often the best “first call.”
  How to find: Eldercare Locator (ACL)
• Adult Day Health: Structured daytime care with supervision, activities, therapies, and predictable respite for family caregivers.
  How to find: Adult Day Services directory (plus ask your AAA for non-listed centers)
• Palliative Care at Home (not hospice): Symptom-management, medication support, and care coordination alongside regular treatment.
  How to find: GetPalliativeCare provider directory
• Family Caregiver Agreements: A written contract so a parent can pay an adult child for care—clarifies duties/pay and helps avoid Medicaid look-back issues.
  How to find: Find an elder-law attorney (NAELA)
• Planning note: Names, benefits, and eligibility change by state. Start with your AAA, SHIP, or a VA-accredited rep, and confirm details before making decisions.

FAQs: Caring for Aging Parents Checklist— What to Do, What to Gather, and How to Cope

1) Why plan now for my parents’ care?

People are living longer—and caregiving is rising. AARP estimates 53 million Americans provided care in the past year, up from 43.5 million in 2015. Planning early keeps parents safer, healthier, and more independent—and keeps you from scrambling later.

2) What’s the first step?

Start with a calm, values-focused conversation. Talk about daily habits, activity level, and what “aging well” means to them. Then agree on a simple next step (e.g., a primary care visit, medication review, or gathering key documents).

3) What personal information do I need on file?

Create one place for: full legal name, DOB, SSN, address/state of residence, marital/health status, doctors/attorney/care manager contacts, and a short “who to call” list for family and close friends.

4) What financial details should I collect?

Document income sources (Social Security, pensions, RMDs, dividends, annuities), monthly expenses, assets and debts, all bank/investment/credit accounts (and where logins are stored), plus advisor contact info. If needed, become an authorized user or set up financial power of attorney so bills get paid on time.

5) Which legal/estate items must be current?

Confirm that the following are up to date: will, living will/advance directive, durable powers of attorney (financial and healthcare), and beneficiary designations on accounts. Discuss DNR preferences, letters of instruction, and funeral wishes. If estate tax might apply, consult an attorney.

6) How do we organize health and insurance?

Sign HIPAA releases with each provider to allow you to discuss care. Attend key appointments, set up automatic prescription refills, consider a pill dispenser, and confirm coverage: Medicare/supplements, long-term care (if any), life, auto, home, umbrella.

7) How can I support nutrition, fitness, and daily life?

Healthy meals and movement matter. Consider Meals-on-Wheels or grocery/meal prep services; encourage walking, swimming, or senior classes. If mobility is changing, add simple supports (grab bars, mobility aids, chair-based exercise gear).

8) What about home, driving, and outside help?

Review home safety (stairs, first-floor living options, door widths). If a move is likely, involve your parents in the search (independent/assisted living, adult day care, or home health). Reassess driving—limit to daylight/good weather or transition away; AARP’s We Need to Talk seminar can help guide the conversation.

9) I’m overwhelmed. How do I protect my own well-being?

Set boundaries, ask for help, and schedule recovery time. Caregiving is meaningful—and draining. A short walk, a weekend away, or sharing tasks with siblings/pros isn’t selfish; it’s how you sustain care over time.

Closing Thoughts

Many of us are living longer. Depending on our health, we may need help. Oftentimes, children find themselves having to take care of aging parents. If you must (or want to) take care of your aging parents, there are many things you should keep in mind. This checklist outlines considerations if you must take care of your parents. We have also included links throughout the blog to other resources that can help.

If you’d like my Caregiver Quick-Start Checklist, download it here, or book a free 15-minute call, and I’ll send it ahead of time.

Our practice continues to grow through introductions from our clients and friends. Thank you for your trust.

If you would like to discuss financial topics, including navigating new beginnings, managing your investments, creating a life plan, or saving for retirement, please schedule a call or a Zoom virtual meeting. We will be in touch.

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